~DarkVendetta

Originally wrote this on Livejournal.com, but then I realized that absolutely nobody reads my stuff ther. In fact, I don't think anyone reads what I have to say, but I need to get some stuff off of my chest. Sleep has been very hard for me to get recently because I have so much thoughts running through my head. Like, over the past few days, I've just noticed the changes I've gone through in my life. As a kid, I always tried so hard to be like the cool kids, although I don't think I was ever accepted that way; besides the fact that I was friends with a lot of them. I was also a bit overweight and kind of small. During middle school, I became somewhat rebellious. Let myself go and grew only a bit taller. Got into a lot of fights and ran my mouth off as well. When I arrived at high school, I became timid. Grew pretty tall compared to most people and lost some weight and have been able to maintain it since. Didn't speak much unless I was spoken to or knew someone for a while. Took a lot of shit from people and stayed quiet since I tried to avoid trouble then. Met some great people, but discovered the worst sides of some of my friends there too. I'm in college now and it's sort of the same as high school, except I'm starting to loosen up a bit now; able to start talking to people without having them asking me something and such.
My taste in music has changed over the years too. Elementary, my oldest cousin gave me an Eminem CD and that's pretty much all I listened too til the end of elementary. In middle school, my friend, Ivan, introduces me to Linkin Park. I remember one night I listened to "In The End" over and over for like an hour straight and asked myself, "Am I actually becoming a rocker," which I find hilarious now because you can't be defined as a rocker just cause you like one rock song and listen to it repeatedly. In high school, I started to distance myself from rap and hip-hop and moved more towards other types of rock from what I heard from games, montages, radio, and friends. I think Jedi Mind Tricks was the only good hip-hop group that I still enjoyed listening to until after their "Violent By Design" CD. In college and all I listen to is the rock I have on my laptop. I drive to school with my laptop in my front seat (cause I don't have a CD player in my stereo) and jam out to my music coming back and forth. Yeah, I through in some of that trance/techno/house in there and maybe some bachata and salsa in there too.
So... I'm in college now and only have these set of pre-requisites that I'm working on right now to get into the nursing program that I've been trying to get into for a while now. My grades have been great up until now, this Anatomy/Physiology II is just killing me and my English Composition teacher can't even keep up with her friggin syllabus which is confusing the hell out of me cause I have no idea where I stand. I really want these classes to be over with soon. I have a trip coming up right after the end of this term and I don't think I've been this excited for anything else in my life. And from what Zen tells me, Katie's looking forward to this trip as well. Finally get to meet Katie in person, which I'm sure she's a greater person in real life than when we talk online. By the way, I believe Katie and I have known each other for probably five or six years now? I find it amazing that we're still friends since then, cause I've lost touch with almost the rest of my friends, which still saddens me. Anyways, I have that to look forward to and I'm sure I'll have a great time over there.
With all that said, I believe I can probably get some rest now. Would have been better to talk to someone about this, but nobody really around at 1:30 in the morning that would be willing to listen... Probably because they are all asleep. I'd like to thank those of your who read this (if any does read this, that is) for taking the time to hear me out. There is one more thing that I'd like to talk about, but I'll save it for some other time since it's kinda personal and I'm not ready to talk about it... Yet.